Chef VS Panda

Written by: zoz

The World According to Minoto
or, why my real world friends look at me strangely when I try to explain this game to them

1. Frightening clowns, pandas with no table manners, chefs who can work magic with just a soup pot, little soldiers who secretly long to be priests, and pink bunnies can all get along together. Perhaps the rest of the world should pay attention!

2. Telephone receivers must have something attached. Unlike in the real world with cell phones, it is not possible to call only by this.
I'll bet in Minoto's world the automobile drivers pay better attention.

3. Clowns can hang out on park benches reading about the priesthood and not get arrested and carted away by the police. Minotoans obviously cherish their freedoms!

4. Pink bunnies climb trees and hop up and down on branches that once were hatchets. In the real world, it would take massive amounts of alcohol to make this happen.

5. In books of job change, sentences because of becoming the priest are written. In the real world, this would have to include quite a bit of legal advice and psychiatric counseling.

6. Little soldiers who are obviously distraught by their career choice can throw down their weapons, including the thin escutcheon, and magically transform immediately into priests. Or monks. Or something. In other words, love will always win over war. Pay attention, @RealWorld!!

7. Chefs who cook at roadside stands can use thin escutcheons to cover the soup pot and prevent the flavors from escaping. In the real world, they would have to get at least six extra permits to do this.

8. Pandas can spit out their food and still be lovable. Come to think of it, that's pretty much the same as it is in the real world.

9. Chef is so talented that a simple dip in his soup can change an IH heater (exclusive use!) into a black mousepad. Just try that in the real world, all you celebrity chefs!

10. The heater cum mousepad can not only cause an arrow on a computer screen to move, it can make it move right off the screen and onto your desk! Even Macs can't do that! Although they may be able to next week.

11. Cute little green puppies with hardhats are employed as traffic engineers, and they are always cheerful and helpful. Even when placing white arrows around towns for SSSG! Traffic engineers in the real world are often neither cute, nor cheerful, nor especially helpful. They do, however, wear hardhats.

12. Santa rides around in a large mail car and delivers cushions. In the real world, everyone knows that Santa rides around in a sleigh and no self-respecting child would accept so lame a present as a cushion. We're much more demanding than that in the real world.

13. Long hatchets can enjoy being jumped up and down on by pink bunnies. So much so that the hatchet will fall from the tree if the bunny jumps off in favor of a cushion. In the real world, this would be rated A for Adult Content

14. A delicious fruit, the seed of pepper, can result from bathing in the light of the sun, and this seed of pepper can make a soup taste so good that it causes the panda to shoot beams of light from his eyes and mouth. In the real world, anyone shooting beams of light from his eyes and mouth must be heavily sedated and monitored closely until the drugs wear off.

15. Finally, the panda that had eaten the chef's delicious dish seems to have been satisfied. And that makes everything right in the Minoto world. So right that it is the delicious end, and it is the only one method. Life is so much simpler in Minoto-land. One day I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. But that's a story for another day.
14/5/10 18:25