Classic Escape

Written by: zoz

One of Those Days Through

Woke up, rolled over and picked up the magic square from the floor between the wall and the bed.
Sat up and took the fish net I always keep above the headboard.
And the screwdriver attachment that I always sleep with from between the pillows. I really like screwdrivers.
Yawned. Scratched my head. Stumbled over to the Modigliani and placed the magic square over it.
Modigliani no more, it's now a paint by numbers abstract!
Good thing I can see colors. And read tiny roman numerals.
Shuffle over to the drawers on the wall and turn the knobs different colors (all of my drawers turn colors when I touch them. Not my knickers, just my regular drawers).
Looks like Purple, Dusty Blue, Cyan, Olive Green, and Red/Orange (no primary colors for this artist!).
Somewhere in my head, just behind my left ear, I hear Edgar (or was it Edward? or maybe Ellie? Anyway, starts with "E") whisper "1,7,5,9,3".
And so I click the knobs that many times, starting with the left.
The left drawer pops open (the others have their own codes, it seems) and I pick up the screwdriver handle.
What I really need right now is a toothbrush, but I'll take the SD handle. I put the screwdriver attachment in the handle, but it falls out.
Is this going to be one of those days?
Go over to tv to watch the news, but there's no remote. Probably in one of those other drawers. But behind the tv is a rubber hose (disguised as a coax cable).
Staggering around the room, I see the cutest little kitty. With a ball of yarn she won't let me have. Pet her anyway 'cuz she's cute.
Ok, gotta find that toothbrush. So I look in the bedside cabinet and there's a magnet, but no toothbrush.
But beside the cabinet is a trash can that is clean and empty. And there's a water faucet next to it. Maybe I can brush my teeth? But I don't want water all over the nice wooden floor (and what the heck is a water faucet doing in the bedroom anyway?)
So I attach the rubber hose and fill the trash can with water.
Since the trash can is clean, maybe I can wash my face in the wat...
what? A fish is swimming in the water. Back and forth and back and forth. Mesmerizing. But not appropriate for washing my face.
I bet the cute kitty would like a fish. I'll use my fish net to get it.
The cute kitty does, indeed, like a fish. And gives me a ball of yarn in gratitude. Not being a cat, I restrain myself from playing with the yarn. Instead, I tie the yarn to the magnet.
Time to open the floor safe. I use the clever code I thought of: 0000.
No one will ever try that!
I take the grey key from inside the safe and use it on the box on the floor beside the fishy trash can.
I take the glue. I always keep my glue well secured. I don't want anyone using my glue for frivolous purposes.
I think I'll use the glue on the screwdriver handle so the attachment will stay attached. So I do, and it does.
Now I can unscrew the rug that is screwed to the floor. Kind of a screwy way to keep the rug from sliding around (ha, ha. I just woke up, ok, so don't expect witty repartee from me).
Then I can use the magnet/string combo to fetch the room key so I can finally go brush my teeth and make some coffee.
(Already fed the cat.)
So I go to brush my teeth and find myself locked in the bathroom.
Yes, it is going to be one of those days, it seems.
17/4/10 16:37